Sex

Regardless if you are sexually active or just thinking about it this section can help answer some of your questions. Check out the link to sexual health too.

 

If you find talking with your parents about sex uncomfortable, embarrassing or just not something you can do. There are places you can go and people you can talk to confidentially to discuss concerns, problems or just answer questions. YHES House staff can discuss a wide range of issues with you such as:

 

  • Becoming sexually active.
  • Sexual Health.
  • Contraception options.
  • Link you with youth friendly doctors and sexual health clinics.

 

 

Sex For The First Time

It seems like everyone is talking about sex, your friends, the television, magazines, and movies. It’s normal to be excited and anxious about becoming sexually active. There is no right or wrong time to become sexually active, it is different for everyone. It comes down to when it is right for you.
 

 

 

So Should You or Shouldn’t You?

Only you can answer that question, it is not something someone else can decide for you, but below are some things you might want to think about before making that decision.
 

  • Is this something I want to do for myself, or am I being pressured by someone?
  • Am I more anxious than excited? ( if so you might want to wait a little bit longer or gain some more information)
  • How much do I know about having safe sex and why it is important?
  • If I do it will I feel guilty or bad about myself?
  • Do you trust the person you are with to respect you if you say no?

 

 

Some FAQ’s About First Time Sex

It’s important to remember the legal side when deciding to have sex.

If you are under 16, no one can have sex with you, touch you in a sexual way or perform any kind of sexual act in front of you; EVEN IF YOU AGREE!.

 

Sex is not legal between family, including a carer or guardian; this includes people like teachers etc. if you are intelectually impariered or under 12 years of age.
 

 

Can I get pregnant the first time I have sex?
Yes you can, when thinking about becoming sexually active you need to consider what form of contraception you will use to protect yourself against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. The best protection for both is to use a condom. If you want you can make an appointment with our Health Educator to talk about the best types of protection and how to use them.

 

Will first time sex hurt?
For some people, first time sex can be pleasurable, comfortable and fun. For some people, first time sex does feel uncomfortable – it could even hurt. Pain during sex could mean you don’t have enough lubrication or need to try a different position. It could also mean your partner is going too fast or using too much pressure or that you are nervous. It could be a combination of all of these. If it is hurting, stop and talk to your partner. Try some more lubrication or a different position or ask your partner to go slower. If it is hurting too much, then stop because it shouldn’t be too painful. It’s important to talk to your partner about these issues and work out ways to make sex more comfortable.

 

Sometimes for first time sex, for girls, there might be some bleeding, this should not last long. If pain or bleeding continues, it’s important to talk to a health professional. It can be a good idea to talk to someone about your feelings about sex. Contact FPA Health line 1300 65 88 86, your GP or your nearest sexual health clinic, or come and chat to our Youth Worker here at YHES House.

 

 

Will the first time be perfect?

TV and movies often glamorise the first time, which may give unrealistic expectations about what it’s really like. It’s OK if the first time is not perfect. It’s not uncommon to feel awkward or self-conscious about your body or sex. And sometimes unexpected things happen when having first time sex, so it’s good to feel comfortable enough to talk about it.
 

What happens after first time sex?
After you have sex, especially if it’s your first time, you might experience a whole lot of emotional stuff – some good emotions, some confusing. For example, some people might feel worried or guilty, or sex might enhance your feelings of affection for the other person. If you are having trouble dealing with these issues yourself, you may want to talk with your partner, or with other people you can trust, such as friends, family members or a counsellor.

 

For more information follow these links:
Qld Govt. – Sexual Health
Family Planning – Qld
Aids, Hepatitis & Sexual Health Infomation
Shine S.A. – Sexual Health
Reachout.com.au
The Better Health Channel

 

A CONTRACEPTIVE OPTION

Open the wrapper carefully so as not to damage the condom.
Be careful not to tear the condom with teeth, fingernails or rings.

The condom will only unroll one way. Check that the condom is the right way up, by unrolling it very slightly. Do not fully unroll the condom before use, this will make it difficult to put on and may damage the condom.

Always put the condom on before the penis comes in contact with the partner’s genital area – and only when the penis is hard and erect.

Gently squeeze the tip of the condom between the thumb and fore finger (to push out the air and to make room for the semen).
Hold the condom against the end of the penis.
Roll the condom down over the whole length of the erect penis.

Carefully apply a generous amount of water based lubricant, such as KY gel to:
– The outside of the condom which now covers the erect penis.
– Around the entrance of the partner’s genital area.

After sex and while the penis is still hard, hold the rim of the condom, at the base of the penis. Carefully withdraw the penis from the partner’s genital area (to prevent any spillage of semen).

Point the penis downwards and slip the condom off, carefully.
Do not touch the partner’s genital area with the penis or used condom.

Tie a knot in the used condom.
Wrap the used condom and put it in a rubbish bin.
Do not flush the used condom down the toilet but dispose of it in a thoughtful and hygienic way.

 

 

I THINK I’M PREGNATE

 

Getting A Test
The first sign of pregnancy is usually a missed period or a very light period. This can also come with feeling nauseated, tender breasts and the need to go to the toilet more often. If you think you may be pregnant you need to get a test, this can be done at home, at a doctors or at YHES House. Tests are available for free at YHES House or you can pick them up from most supermarkets and chemists.

 

But I Really Don’t Want To Know
If you are pregnant ignoring it won’t make it go away, if your not you could be spending time worrying about something that doesn’t exist. Getting a test will allow you to start gathering information to make your decision. If you decide not to go through with the pregnancy there are time limits to some of your options so getting a test as soon as possible is important.

 

Making My Decision
Before you make any decisions about your pregnancy you need to gather reliable information. You may want to talk to someone who is not involved to give you all your choices and help you to choose what is right for you. Remember you’re the one who has to live with whatever decision you make so it should be your choice. Don’t try and please other people. A number of things may factor into your decision including your own beliefs and values, financial, physical and emotional health.

 

Telling My Parents
Telling your parents can be difficult sometimes. How you do this will depend on what sort of relationship you have with them. It may be easier to tell one parent first, or to tell a family friend or relative and have them there for support when you tell your parents. Parents most times will be supportive but don’t be upset if at first they appear angry or shocked sometimes it is the last thing they think will happen and have trouble adjusting to the news give them some time to think about it.

 

Telling The Father
Just like telling your parents it can be difficult to let the father of the baby know. You may want to talk to a trusted friend or youth worker about supporting you through this. Remember you were probably shocked about the news when you first heard and have been living with it for a while, for them it may not even have entered their head that this might happen and be a surprise. Give them some time to get use to the information.

 

Get Support
Whatever you decide you might want to have someone support you through it. This should be someone who you trust to give you impartial information, someone who will give you all your options and someone who will listen to you. You might want to talk to a friend or trusted family member or talk to someone at school, like the school nurse, youth support coordinator or guidance office. You can always come in to YHES House and make an appointment to talk to one of the Youth Workers. All your information will be kept confidential.